Happy 26 to Me

On October 26 I will be 26 years old. This is supposed to be my Golden Birthday. I will spend half of it at work doing what I love and what I enjoy. The first quarter of my life has brought me pain, joy, heartache, love, exhaustion and accomplishments. It has been a roller coaster and I appreciate that. Without the things that I have been through, I will not be the person I am today nor would I appreciate my life.

The biggest lesson that I have learned over the last 25 years is that goals are endless. When I was in the 5th grade, my friend of a year at the time, Tiera, started a tradition.  Right before school started we would set goals for the school year. At one point, maybe around middle school, I started to feel like it was  a dumb thing to do but I did it because it made my friend proud. It brought her joy and I loved to see her determination. Throughout the year we would check in on our goals and what we had accomplished. What my friend doesn't know is that I still do this today. It may not be at the beginning of the school year but  I do it. It started as goals for the school year-- good grades, meet new people, save some money, be on the honor roll, or join a club. Well then high school was over and had to set goals for college. Eventually, my goals for college had to be extended. Now I find mysef setting goals for my career and relationships.  The most difficult thing for me at 25 is to go about this world with no goal. When I completed my Master's Degree and obtained a job, I was depressed. What next!

So as I go into what I hope is at least the 2nd quarter of my life, I am looking foward to the pain, joy, heartache, love, exhaustion and accomplishments as I  move forward with a different set  goals. Becoming a licensed counselor is something that I am currently working on and 26 will defintely see it. I also hope that the next chapter of my life brings me a family, a healthier lifestyle, a new  city of my choice, a job that I enjoy as much as the one that I currently have, and some leadership opportunities.
Happy 26 Birthday to Me
May the odds forever be in my favor!!
With a sincereheart <3

Happy 42nd Birthday Mom

In less than 4 hours it will be my mother, Shonda Shaw’s birthday. My mother has been deceased for 10 years now and in honor or her birthday I will not write a status about missing her but more so about what she left me with to carry into my adult years.  

My mother was ill for majority of all my life. According to my grandmother, my mother found out that she had diabetes when she was pregnant with me. I grew up thinking that my mother was mean. She had her days were I felt she was nice but for the most part I thought she was mean. Therefore, I decided that I would go to my grandmother for things.

I remember being in the 3^rd grade. I think Ms. Walker was my teacher. This was the time where we learned our multiplication facts and spelling words started to become hard. When I got out of school, my mom would make me get right to it. I had to go in my room or to kitchen table and study, study, and study. I would come out and ask my mom to quiz me on what I had learned. The first one I would get wrong, she would send me back to my room and yell “You don’t know these! Study!” I would be like geez. I only missed one! It was unacceptable.

My mother wanted me to be independent. Although, she never said so my mother figured if I learned it at school, home is the place to practice or study it. My mother wasn't the type to walk me through it. It was like she knew that if I learned it at school she shouldn’t have to teach it at home. If I didn’t know how to do it, there were questions as to why I didn’t. This motivated me to focus on school because I knew that I would be on my own. My mom had a minimal assistance policy. I did all my reading fair and science fair boards by myself. She would asked what I needed and get it. She didn’t even help me pick out a topic or book. I remember being angry going to school with those ugly boards that I did on my own, glue everywhere, and letters crooked.  There was this one kid in my class that would win all of them. I know his mom did all his projects. She was a teacher at the school too. I knew she did them because he wasn’t that smart in school. I told my mom one time that his mother helped him and she told me that his mom is not going to be able to help him with other stuff.

My mother really prepared me to be a go getter on my own and not to depend on others. When I was in the 9^th grade she passed away. I thought that this was the time to get some help. #Fail. Everyone I would ask for help with my homework told me “They didn’t do this when I was in school!” Therefore, I had to continue on like I had been in the past.

I was an honor student from k-12. In my second semester of college, I had 2 C’s the rest of my grades (6 years of college) were A’s and B’s. My mom raised the bar and set goals for me before I even could understand. She prepared me to be independent. These are the values that make me the great worker (not toot my own horn) that I am today. It’s the reason that others have seen leadership qualities in me before I had seen them in myself. No one will ever know if this was something she just wanted out of me in general or if she knew that she would not be able to be there all the way with me physical. Either way, I am thankful for the life lesson she taught me. Even though, I thought she was being mean to me or giving me some very tough love, I understand it now and I appreciate it whole heartedly. I hope that one day I am ½ as great as the mom that she was while she was here.

I Love You Mom. Happy 42^nd Birthday!

With a Sincere Heart

My Journey Continues

I am so excited to update you guys on my progress on this journey. Like I stated in my first blog this journey is not just about my physical health but my mental health as well. I think that since I started, I have been more social. I have been going out with friends and getting out the house. I haven’t let those little things upset me and I’ve honestly just been happy. With that being said,  I’m pretty sure that some of this happiness has to do with my health. The last time I weighed in which was about two weeks after I started my journey, I had lost five points. I took this an inspiration to kick it up. So let me tell you what I have been doing.

1.       CALORIES- I have been watching my calories and I am on a 1700 calorie diet (recommended by my fitness tracker). I have let go of those empty liquid calories and increased my water. Fast food has been limited. I use to eat fast food everyday on my lunch break and sometimes I would eat it again for supper. This was a no –go and I’ve had more money for other stuff too.  However, there have been times were I have had no other choice than to go out for food during lunch hour but I leave the fries and substitute for a side salad. Oh Yeah! I’ve increased my vegetable intake. I have at least one serving of vegetables a day. At one point in my life.. most of my life I didn’t eat vegetables but may every 2weeks. Yeah It was bad people.  I must say this has my digestive track regulated.

2.       EXERCISING-  I have been doing Zumba 2-3 times a week in addition to some strength training for about 30-40 minutes 2 days a week. I want to do a little more with my exercise and plan to crank it up within the next week or so. I feel like I can. I feel like I’m ready!

3.       MEAL REPLACEMENT- Most recently I have been venturing out to try new things I can add to increase my weight loss goals. I discovered Special K protein shakes. I have a hard time working breakfast into my diet; however, I want that metabolism boost so that it can start working early on. Therefore, I tried the French Vanilla shake as a meal replacement. It worked well both Friday and Saturday. I believe that I will continue this but not every day because protein shakes are expensive. I have to tell myself that $7 for 4 meals is not bad when I would spend that on 1 meal in fast food.  The first flavor I tried was French Vanilla. It was nasty but I swear it wasn’t good as I feel it could have been. However, I learned from a co-worker that is better than all others. Next step is to try the Milk Chocolate flavor. I also plan to try the milk chocolate slim fast version as well.

4.       DETOX/CLEANSE- The reason that I am really excited today. A girl I met through a mutual friend told me about the ITWORKS GREENS. She had a special going on so I decided to try it. Let me start by saying this SHIT is nasty!!! However, I decided that I wasn’t going to write it off quite yet, especially since I committed to three months of this crap.  So I tell her it is horrible and I was about dead yesterday when I mixed my first packet in my V-8 Pomegranate juice (it’s nasty too).  So she told me she would ask her friend about the smoothie she uses. Well after giving me her recipe, I tweaked it a bit by changing the juice and made my own version. It is delicious. I think that this is something that I can do every day.  

      My Recipe: 8oz of Ocean Spray Berry Medley, handful of spinach (I doubted this), handful of mixed berries (strawberries, blueberries, blackberries), pineapple chunk, 1/3 of a banana, and of course the Berry flavor green mix.  It doesn’t look good but it is.

If you would like to try it out or check it out visit my page http://robdrekashaw.sharewraps.com I think I get a free wrap or something if you purchase something. Lol

I must say that I am satisfied.  Now, my birthday is next month on October 26. My goals I to lose 10 more lbs which makes a total of 15lbs by then. If I lose more that is fantastic too. Thank GOD there are no holidays in between. Well good people now that I have shared these things with you, let the journey continue.

With A Sincereheart

Patience and Prayer

I’ve been feeling that I needed to post a blog soon. However, I really couldn’t think of a topic to blog about. Today, a table I purchased for my dining room came in the mail and I put it together. My table is very lovely and I was talking to my grandmother about the fact. In the midst of talking to her, I had to stop and thank God. I had to think about where I was last year and where I am today.

 Last year around this time I had just graduated from my graduate program, gotten a new job, purchased a new car, and moved into a new unfurnished apartment yet I was very depressed. I was depressed because I was in debt to survive. I needed to work, I needed to get there, and I needed a place to stay. Starting with $0 dollars only allows you get in debt to take care of all of those things. It was a very sad time. My boyfriend had moved to my city to be with me and he didn’t have a job to start off so it was a very rough patch. Our apartment was empty we only had an air mattress that his aunt had given us, a tv, and a tv stand. Eating was even a challenge. Well I found a couch for $20 bucks and we added that.  Later in the month an awesome co-worker of mine gave us a futon to add to our empty home. It was very depressing. I am not ashamed to say. Yes I went through a period of depression.

However, today I am proud to say that I have moved on. God has blessed us with a bigger apartment, a full living room, two bedrooms both furnished, and today I completed my Dining area. God is so good and he works on his time. It had nothing to do with me being depressed but the fact that he had a plan in store for me. Some may say. Hey Dreka, those are material things. I agree, but I also look at them as physical things. Sometimes people need to see things to believe it. You can’t measure or began to see my happiness at this point in my life, you can’t measure the fact that I feel better with myself, you can’t measure the fact that my faith is stronger than it was last year, you can’t measure the joy I feel to say that I am debt free.  I will be lying to you if I said I didn’t have my bad days because I swear I do. But I get out of that funk and live my life day to day. There is no sense in worrying about tomorrow when tomorrow’s not even promised. 

Sincereheart,

SHHH!!!!!

Warning: This was too long to be a facebook post! Viewer discretion advised.

People can be so judgmental. Call me a hypocrite for writing this blog. I honestly don’t care. However, I watch a lot of videos on social media and people always have [insert curse word] to say. It doesn’t matter if the person(s) in the videos are being positive or not. There are going to be 899,999,999 comments and 899,999,990 are going to be negative.  “She wrong for this. Call child protection services. That baby hair .2 centimeters to short” “Oh, my God, he should be arrested that dog breathing to hard. It’s dehydrated.” Shut the [insert curse word] up! You don’t know what is going on with these folks. It just kills me that people are so quick to give a verdict from 10-15 second clips on facebook. I am so happy that our constitution exists and jurors are screened. Don’t get me wrong, I know that some slip through the cracks. For the most part I trust that we are not going to get some of these commenters on social media. I’m just saying. One wrong move ruins your name when it comes to social media. “Wow, I almost saw her nipple. May she be called a THOT forever!” Y’all runs the hell out!

Oh and don’t let somebody’s child know the words to a song. They are horrible mothers and fathers. They need their children to be taken away. Really people!! Why take those kids away and no one is taking them in? Heaven forbid they know a gospel song “They should be a shame of themselves. That child is not old enough to understand religion! They are forcing God on that child. Let’s take their children away and sentence them to life.” People please calm down. Sometimes it’s best not to say anything. Everything doesn’t have to have a comment. It’s okay to “like” the post and move on. When I say “like” the post I’m just saying recognize that you saw it. At the end of the day your opinion really doesn’t matter because the video is recorded which means that the event itself is in the past.

I’m Irritated but I swear it’s with the Sincerest Heart 

My Journey: Day 2

So let’s talk about Day 2 of this journey. I am feeling good. I am feeling motivated and I feel that I can do this. Yesterday, I cooked a nice meal and watched my carb and sugar intake. I did not eat out today at work, instead I ate leftovers from the day before. However, my leftovers tasted better for lunch than it did last night for dinner. I am struggling with eating breakfast. Today I did manage to take a granola bar to work. Some challenges that I foresee in the future is sweets. I want to eat sweets! I know that if I just get a taste for something sweet I am going to go bunkers and become the cookie monster.

Another challenge I foresee…. THE BF. He hasn’t said anything yet but I can tell by the look on his face and the fact that he hasn’t been to the kitchen in seconds for the last two days that he is not feeling this health kick. He wants better for me and understands the health part of my journey but I don’t think he thought about the fact that he would be dragged along too. But that’s okay. I know how to mix it up and sometimes do half and half.

That’s the health part of me. The social part of me is still pretty steady.  I just don’t know what to do about it this point. Let’s revisit this later.

With the Sincerest Heart

My Journey

            So starting Monday, I will be going on a journey. This journey is about me and me only. Somewhere along the way I lost myself. I think that it may have been in college when I was so focused on school and my grades. Although, I did well, I obsessed about it all the time and my social life suffered tremendously. My senior year of undergrad is when I realize that I was missing out on life. However, then there was graduate school. During graduate school, I had a life but it was centered on grad school. All my hang out friends were in my program and that is what we talked about all the time. However, I’ve just completed my first year being a full time employee. This has been hard. All my friends have moved away from the city I live in. My childhood friends are scattered across the globe. My family lives 2.5 hours away from me.  I have a boyfriend but he has his life and his own social circle.  I am bored out of my mind. I find myself getting depressed and feeling exhausted all the time. I sit at home all day and think about my shortcomings and where my life can deserve some improvements. So instead of pouting about my need for improvements, I am going to do something about it. So starting Monday, I am going on a journey. On this journey I plan to make changes for my physical health, my spirituality, my mental health and overall wellness. I can’t change the fact that my friends are miles away but I can get out more and meet new people. So as I go on this journey I wish myself the best. Hey, maybe I’ll let you in on the way.

With the Sincerest Heart,

Sincereheart

I luh God!

Erica Campbell luh’s God. What’s wrong with you? When I first heard this song, I saw it with the video and I was speechless. I heard this song again on the Rickey Smiley Morning Show and she was a guest speaker and she called the song the “Ratchet Righteous Turn Up Song” and I was tickled pink.

Initial Impression

At first I thought, Wow, Erica has really taken gospel music far. Watching the video took me back to my childhood when I was in church faithfully. The choir director at my church was a bit stricter on her daughter and she didn’t allow her to listen to certain gospel songs because they had a “worldly” ring to them. I didn’t understand what she meant at the time and honestly I didn’t think anything of it until I saw this video.

Don’t get me wrong I understand what she was trying to do and that she is trying to reach a wider audience. It’s nothing new that Mary Mary has crossed genres because this is something that they always do. However, the video for me was a bit much. The big hair, the crowd of people, Jazzy Pha/ DJ Khaled guy and the dance moves were just coming at me all too quickly and I wasn’t expecting it at all.

Process

 I quickly asked my friends what they thought about this song and they were turned off by the song as well. However, I listened to the song again without the video and it was somehow different to me. I was better able to perceive the message of the song and also feel the song. The lyrics are very simple and to the point. She loves God because he has done so much for her and continues to do so much for her. This is something that I include in my prayers every night so I can relate. She goes on to bring in the audience that may not love God in the way that she does. She tells them to think about their life and their blessings and how they are not doing it alone. She tells them to be thankful for having GOD on their side and to love him. She tells them how without him things for them could be different. A very simple message, not hard to follow at all. I like the message of this song and what it is trying to convey but the video was a distraction to me. But Why? Why was this video such a big distraction?

This video was a distraction to me for the same reason I keep my gospel music and my “worldly” music on two separate playlists on my phone and computer. I don’t feel that they should mix. For me it’s out of respect. Now I know plenty of people that have no problem mixing the two and they would go from Future to Marvin Sapp in 2 seconds. That makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it’s guilt because I was always told that the music of the world is bad. On the other hand, I totally understand the need to take it there. You have to find a way to connect. This was a way to connect with someone. Maybe it set with me wrong but for someone else they said hey “Gospel music can be hype too.” It’s what Erica Campbell said in her interview. This is the “ratchet righteous turn up.” I get that. I understand that. We are in a different time and I recognize that some things that I grew up doing or being taught are not going over so well now and people have to do what they can to grab the attention of others. I appreciate Erica for thinking outside of the box. I hope that the message got to someone.

With peace and love,

The Sincerest Heart

 HAVENT SEEN IT? CLICK HERE TO VIEW: Erica Campbell's I luh God

Therapeutic Perspective on the DreamWork’ s Animated Movie Home

 Since becoming a mental health professional  I find the meaning in everything. I look for the meaning in music, the big picture in TV shows, and meanings in movies. My boyfriend says it’s too much; however, I can’t help myself. It’s not like I just sit down and go “Hmmm… What does the writer want me to know?”  Well I take that back, I do it in music. I just want to know what I am listening too.

Well back to the point. HOME. BOMB A** Movie! It only got like a 6.8 on IMDB. According to my friend, that is okay. Well I love this movie for entertainment and therapeutic purposes. Reasons for movie being therapeutic:

1)      Friendship: The movie addresses real friendship. You know, the kind of friendship where you argue and fight about them not being there for you. The kind of friendship where you doubt their loyalty to you. Yes that kind of friendship. I think that kids need to see that friendships have their ups and downs and that you bounce back from them, if they are true relationships.

2)      Multicultural: Tip is from Barbados and O is from some planet. Despite their differences and how totally different their roles and lifestyles are they seem to get over it and become friends. They also start to teach each other about the other’s culture.

3)      Lost: Although no one in the movie died. They both lost something in the beginning. Tip lost her mom and O lost his home and his people turned their backs on him. How do you go on and deal with emotions after lost. This movie addresses it.

4)      Determination: It’s obvious that she was determined to get to her mother and he was determined to get away and have a good life and have fun.

5)      Self Esteem: Both characters have low self-esteem and do not feel accepted by their peers. The two of them open up to one another and address it. Tip feels that because she is new and from another place she doesn’t fit in.  None of the other Boovs like O. He is treated poorly

6)      Entertainment: Did I mention that this movie has some comedy as well. It is really entertaining and funny. Laughter is therapeutic all in itself.

If you haven’t seen it yet. Watch it. This movie can be great for groups, especially with small children. Movies to look out for “INSIDE OUT” I am just anticipation how good this movie is going to be. I love what the animated movie makers have been doing lately.

With the Sincerest Heart

I am an Addict!!

Everyone is following the new “Natural” trend. Don’t lie to yourself like it is not a trend because it is. So let’s think about all of the justifications for a minute “I was born this way so I am going back to my roots!” Yes that is all find and dandy. You go girl! “I want my hair to be healthier” Yes, yes my friend! I hear you. “Relaxers are just not getting it for me.” Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah! Whatever the reason may be, at the end of the day it is still a trend. You knew you weren’t born that way a long time ago but now that you see others are on board you are more likely to do it. Same is true for the relaxers not working for you. Healthier hair? Please! You can have healthy hair with a relaxer as well. You just need to know how to care for your hair.

Now I must say that I almost jumped on this band wagon for reasons others will not admit. ALL of my friends are natural. One of my friends did it because her hair wasn’t responding well to relaxers anymore, two of them wore protective styles so much that it just happened, one of them wanted HEALTHIER HAIR (sarcastic tone), and the other wanted to get back to her roots! I wanted to go natural because I am the only person in my two friend groups that is addicted to the creamy crack. Yes, my name is Robdreka and I am addict.

I just love the feeling of running my fingers through my hair. I like the way that my hair can be easily manipulated with the creamy crack. I mean I took down my braids last week and I thought about transitioning since I had not had a relaxer in 3 months and I almost died. I started to have withdrawal. I could not even use a comb in my hair. “Use your fingers,” they said. “You have to style while your hair is wet,” they said. WHAT!!!! No this is not going to happen. So today I gave in and I got a relaxer. I have had my relaxer all of 2 hours now and I feel happier on the inside, I feel healthier, I feel connected, and I feel energized!  I said all of this to say that this is one trend that Dreka will not be following. My addiction just will not let me.

Sincerest Heart

Kids Just Want To Have Fun

So in my profession, I am finding myself having to deal with issues that I feel are just common sense and sometimes it gets frustrating. Just the other day I ran across a parent of a five year old that told me her child was hyperactive and she has a hard time putting him to bed at night. After observing this child in a different setting, I see none of what the mother reports. So I move forward to ask her about her daily activities. Well this mother does not have a job, this child is not in school, and he spends his days with her Allllllllll day. During the day this kid does nothing but watch TV. Um, excuse me MS I know what this child needs and it is not medication. He needs two things—socialization and high energy activity.

Now is it just me or should it be common sense that a child that is not tired will have difficulty going to sleep at 8pm?  Kids want to have fun so of course what he/she is doing is getting on your nerves because they are trying to make fun for themselves. Yes mommy your child will appear hyper if he/she is using their imagination to fight the sharks (on the floor) while standing on your couch (their boat). Yes mother your child will appear hyper if you want them to sit still and watch Spongebob but your child is running from the imaginary zombies that are chasing him up the hall and through the living room. I am sorry mom these things are age appropriate. This kid needs a playdate and to run and be free. Please take this little boy outside to play. That is all he/she wants in life is to run and be free. I know that you are tired from your day of doing nothing but your child needs this. I promise you your day will be much easier and bedtime will be a breeze!

Sidenote: Our children are growing and getting bigger because they do not get enough activity but that is a post for another day. 

                                                                                     

With the sincerest heart,

RS